Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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