Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
