Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
