I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
