Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
