I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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