So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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