I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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