I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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