The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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