508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
