My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
