Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
