Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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