I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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