Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
