Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize