So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
