never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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