i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
