the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
