im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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