Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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