Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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