I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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