It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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