Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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