ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
