Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
