im about as happy as oj after his trial
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
how drunk are you?
Several
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
