You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
