i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Girls should come with a carfax report
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
