College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
