i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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