Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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