Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If I die, sorry about rent.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
