My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
