is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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