So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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