So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
