Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
