I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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