The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
