I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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