Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
they need to just BURY HIM!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
