He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
