He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
