The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
