no, he came in my armpit
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
