Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
